I’m writing this at Cologne Airport, waiting to fly back to London – my home, at least technically – after visiting my boyfriend in Düsseldorf. It’s been over six months since we started this long-distance relationship between the UK and Germany, and still, every goodbye feels just as painful as the first one.
What Long Distance Really Feels Like
When we first started, I genuinely believed it wouldn’t be too bad. Düsseldorf and London are only a 1.5-hour flight apart. My job is hybrid. I like my alone time. I thought I’d focus more on my career and self-development.
But reality is… very different.
I miss him every single day. I feel emotional for no reason, detached from London, and sometimes it’s hard to enjoy the city because it feels empty without him. It even affects my productivity. And the emotional rollercoaster doesn’t stop there – I become more on edge, more reactive, moody for no clear reason.
But then he sends me a photo or a voice message, and my entire heart melts. This is the strange beauty of long distance: you start valuing the smallest things so much that they feel huge.
The Practical Side Nobody Talks About
Let’s talk about the logistics, because they matter.
I’m someone who enjoys going out, being present, meeting people. But most evenings I end up FaceTiming him until I fall asleep, because I want to, but also because it’s the only way to feel close. Still, it doesn’t feel great to spend so much of my precious free time online instead of being offline and living.
Then there’s the money. Flights. Buses. Airports. Delays.
But between London and Germany, it’s doable. Actually, the longest we’ve gone without seeing each other is three weeks. It’s expensive and exhausting, but it works.
What I’ve Learned
This relationship made me rethink the way I see myself.
I always believed that, as a woman in my twenties, career should come first. That love could wait. That independence and ambition define me.
But now? I can admit that I would choose love, not in a self-sacrificing way, but in a conscious, adult way. I learned that I’m not as selfish as I thought. I learned that prioritising someone you love doesn’t make you weak. It makes you human.
What Helps in a Long Distance Relationship
Honestly? I’ve been managing long distance pretty badly. I get moody. I feel insecure. I lose energy. Sometimes I’m not happy with my life because of the distance.
But the biggest thing that helps us is transparent communication.
I used to hide my insecure feelings because I didn’t want to “seem” insecure. I didn’t want to admit, even to myself, that distance was making me emotional. But the moment I opened up, it changed everything. He understood, he reassured me, and he showed even more love. That made me realise: long distance requires vulnerability, not pretending to be strong.
Is Long Distance Worth It?
I’ve asked myself this question so many times. Over and over.
But every time, the answer is the same:
“Worth it” isn’t the right question. I’m doing it because I want him.
There is no pros-and-cons list. There’s no mathematical formula to evaluate love. When I finally see him after weeks apart, it feels like I’ve won the whole world. And in that moment, everything – the flights, the calls, the crying, the waiting – feels completely worth it.
Leave a Reply